| Defending your point of view can use up a lot of | | | | lightheartded chat about a particular movie. It soon |
| your precious energy. As much as 90% of our | | | | became a heated row. The people who liked it |
| available energy can be used in this way.If you do | | | | thought there must be something wrong with the |
| this a lot, stop doing it and see for yourself. You'll | | | | people who didn't. And vice versa.I'm not going to |
| probably feel energised, not to mention | | | | say what the movie was, I don't want to start |
| liberated.Sometimes it's necessary to 'defend your | | | | another row! However, I arrived on the beach the |
| view'. If someone is trying to persuade you to do | | | | next day day to find them all 'fuming' about this |
| something you don't want to do either walk away or | | | | ongoing disagreement. They asked if I'd liked the |
| say the minimum. Such as "No."People respect a | | | | movie. Actually I'd loathed it, but said it just hadn't |
| simple "no", as long as it's said with conviction. Or you | | | | appealed to me, and I hadn't really thought about |
| can be polite and say "No thanks". Just leave out the | | | | why....I wasn't going to say another thing...I'd learned |
| "No, but..." as this leaves an opening for the | | | | by too many mistakes.If they'd asked me in the heat |
| persuader to get back in to try and 'convince' you.An | | | | of the row it would have been wise to say I hadn't |
| example is that an ex-partner always wanted me to | | | | seen it! After all, whatever they thought or said |
| go skiing. I hated it but he was always trying to | | | | would not change the fact I hadn't liked it.That's the |
| persuade me of its merits. This resulted in many tiring | | | | crucial point. Nothing anyone said would have changed |
| arguments where I defended my views on why I | | | | my experience of that film. People's views are more |
| disliked it and he defended his views on why he did.It | | | | often changed by experience, rather than |
| was exhausting, I felt as if I was in court and had to | | | | persuasion.It doesn't matter if it's ice-creams, cars, |
| come up with a good reasons not to ski!Finally I | | | | clothes, holidays, that are being discussed.You know |
| realised that all it took was a simple, but emphatic | | | | what you like, you know what you don't like. And |
| "No". He skied, while I enjoyed the apres ski without | | | | that's enough. The more we respect the point of |
| the ski...bliss!If you're not defending your right not to | | | | view of others the more they respect ours.Janet |
| do something that you don't want it's even easier. | | | | trained as a Professional Stress Consultant. She owns |
| As soon as defending your view stops being | | | | the website which offers lots of free tips for |
| pleasant then just stop.I can remember a huge row | | | | enhancing your health, happiness and beauty. |
| that divided a group I met on holiday. It began as a | | | | |